Let me tell you a story about a priest...

Sorry about not updating as often as I should. As Steve said, the end of the semester is approaching with the speed (and metaphorical mass) of a freight train. Still, I'd hate for it to be said that I was too busy with schoolwork to blog--I know that you all wait breathlessly to read my posts. So, without further ado:

The Monk by Matthew Lewis, reviewed by N. Vivian on December 11, 2008

So, I read this for my thesis--which, by the way, may just possibly be the coolest thesis ever. Anyway...The Monk. This is the grandaddy of all (masculine) Gothic novels (the grandmommy of the feminine ones is Anne Radcliffe's The Mystery of Udolpho which I have not read but it's on my to-read list). It's incredibly melodramatic, with rape, murder, and incest; the language is overblown, with random capitalizations everywhere; and it really showcases England's hate-on for the Continent, particularly the Catholic church. That being said, it is a wonderful book, even (in the words of a good friend of mine) if all the problems could be solved by masturbation--although, technically, Ambrosio does masturbate in the beginning--to a picture of the Virgin, no less! Of course, that is heavily encoded in the text, since to come right out and say it would have been oh! so scandalous. (Cause the rest of the text wasn't, y'know?)

So The Monk focuses on a man named Ambrosio (guess his profession!) who is famed for his holiness. Except his holiness comes from growing up in the monastery, where he is free from temptation, (*gasp* Abandoned there by Persons Unknown! Could this possibly be plot relevant?! Indeed it Can!) and his pride in his reputation--though, Lewis does go out of his way to point out Ambrosio would have been a hero if he hadn't been raised Catholic and had the monks suppress all his virtues (intellectual curiosity and bravery being the two most important) and highlight all his flaws (pride, again). Anyway, he's got this weird subtextually-homoerotic relationship with a young novice names Rosario who turns out to be a woman, Matilda, who's been masquerading as a young man to get close to Ambrosio. She loves him, but it is a pure, intellectual love. She reveals herself to him, he demands she leave the monastery, she cries, but agrees, only begging him to give her a flower before she goes. He complies, but is Bitten by a Serpent in the Garden rosebush (here there be symbolism, yo) and falls ill. Later, he recovers to find out that 'Rosario' has healed him, somehow, but now lies dying by the same venom. He goes to 'Rosario's' room, and finds out that Matilda can heal herself, but won't since she is a danger to him. She has Discovered, during her illness, that her Love is not Pure, but indeed is Carnal, and she wishes to Die so as not to tempt him into Sin. Cause, if she were to survive, she'd want to have the mad sexings. Caught between guilt, gratitude, and raging hormones, Ambrosio agrees, and his downfall is basically sealed. He spirals down the path of destruction, leading to said rape, murder, and incest.

There are several other subplots, including a nun who has been walled up and is found clutching the rotting remains of her Dead Babe, but I can't tell you everything. You should all go read it yourselves anyway.

This reading through, I was focusing on Matilda's aspect of the Vice figure. Y'see, she is not actually a woman. She is an instrument of Satan's, who, upon seeing that Ambrosio's holiness is based solely in his pride and not in any real virtue, decides that he will claim Ambrosio's soul for his own. So he sends Matilda, and it is her hand that guides Ambrosio ever-down the path of damnation. She introduces him to sex, she convinces him that raping Antonia is okay (at first, Ambrosio respects Antonia's innocence and refuses to harm her, but he gets over that pretty damn quickly), and, in the end, she is the one who leads to him selling his soul to Lucifer. She's one industrious girl! It's really funny to read the book and watch her play him over and over and over again. Also, Lewis does a good job of showing how, though Matilda provides him the temptations and the methods, it is Ambrosio's will which guides each footfall down the dark path. Matilda is also one of the few female Vices we ever see, and, unsurprisingly, the most potent weapon in her arsenal is sex. man, I kinda can't wait to write my thesis!

Anyway, the ending of the book is awesome. I'm gonna tell it now cause it's just too great. After murdering Antonia's mother, Ambrosio gives Antonia the same poison Juliet takes (there must be an apothecary that specializes in giving this drug to random men of the cloth), and she 'dies.' He has her body brought to the sepulcher, and waits for her to wake up. When she does, he rapes her, and, due to other events, ends up killing her. He and Matilda are caught, turned over to the Inquisition, and are going to be burned in the auto-de-fe. However, the night before their burning, Matilda breaks into his room, gowned and coiffed to the nines, and is all like, "I'm outta here. See ya, sucka!" He demands to know how she's escaping and she says, "I've sold my soul to Satan--and you can, too!" and tosses him the Idiot's Guide to Selling Your Soul and leaves. Ambrosio hems and haws, but when he hears the Inquisition coming down the hall to his room, he summons Satan, who swears that, in exchange for Ambrosio's soul, he'll get him out of the cell. Ambrosio agrees as the doorknob to his room rattles, and he and Satan are whisked away. Ambrosio's kind of waiting for the wealth and luxury Matilda had received, but he and Satan arrive on the side of this cliff, where Satan then says "Ha ha! The Inquisition was actually on their way to pardon you! I got your soul cause you're dumb! Now you're mine forever!" He reveals a few other choice secrets, then throws Ambrosio off the cliff, where he lives in broken misery for a few days, and then drowns in a flood.

The End.

Seriously, this may be one of the best books ever. It caused quite a scandal in its time, and, even by today's standards, is still a bit racy. The sex is 'explicit' not the same way sex is explicit in books nowadays, where every thrust is cataloged, but it does take place on-screen, just in euphemism. Still, I think even people who aren't 19th century literature buffs will enjoy it. The language is modern, save for some odd spellings and the Bizarre Capitalization, and there's more melodrama than an entire afternoon of soap operas. An absolute must for anyone who likes laughing at other people.

5 stars

The End of the Semester Workload EXPLOSION

Well, that time of the year has come again, and very soon I shall be buried under hundreds of pages of student essays. I imagine that this is true for most of you who are in academia as well. I will have approximately 350 pages of papers to grade and then I will have to calculate the semester grade for 35 students, and it looks as though I will have to do this by the end of December.

So please, bear with me if the blog does not get updated as frequently as it has been. And for those of you who also have to finalize your grades--"Good luck!"

Cheers,
Steve